How to help?

Someone I love very much is about to embark on a long journey. This journey is sure to be one of the most challenging things she has ever done and she is bound to meet a few bumps in the road. I am here to support her with 100% of my efforts and will do anything I can to help.

But I've been struggling. How can I help her if I've never had to experience what she is going through? I can't truly relate to this challenge, and don't want to give the wrong kind of support. I've been thinking a lot about this, and something that I noticed is that most of the thoughts/fears/questions I had focused more on me! How do I do this or that? Will she be upset at ME if I say x, y, or z?

Her journey has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with her: by her, for her, and decided by her. I need to be HER support. Just because this is a specific journey that I haven't taken, doesn't mean that I can't be here at any time of the day or night to just listen, love, and give hugs!

This all came even more clear when the other night I was having a conversation with my husband about a frustration he was having at work. I got excited and worked up - I started fighting his fight for him and challenging him to "stand up" to this unfairness. He reacted in the opposite way I expected. He stopped talking, started arguing the other side and in the end said "I don't want to talk about this anymore". By this time, I was confused but wanting him to hear me and jump back on board with the "down with the man!" energy I was feeling. He wouldn't and we left the conversation feeling obviously confused with each other. After reflecting on this and my thoughts about what I mentioned above, I realized that sometimes what people need most is just an ear. Someone who will simply listen. I was doing the opposite of that in the conversation we had - I was trying to force him to hear me! His biggest frustration from work that day was that he wasn't being heard and felt bad about that. Without realizing it, I made him feel the same way at home. :(

So, goal? Listen, love, and hugs first! :)